A letter to myself before Harry

Dear pre-child Stephanie,

Your child is going to be the clone of you in his appearance. While everyone will point it out to you repeatedly, you will secretly be deeply bothered it. Your insecurities about your appearance will not enjoy the fact that your child looks like you.



GOOD FOR YOU for getting a lot of stuff used!!!! You just saved yourself (and Scott) A LOT of money! Be proud, and do NOT ashamed of your thriftiness. I know you are sometimes. It will continue to come in handy... Rock on!!



STOP WORRYING!!!! Seriously... It didn't do any good before Harry, and it isn't serving a purpose now. You do not need to worry about everything all the time... It is going to be ok. You are going to drive yourself crazy, and for the love of God, ask for help!!!

Even though you have a degree in child development, a degree in special education emotional impairment and elementary education, and over a decade of experience working with kids of all ages, you will still be baffled by your child's behavior and feel like a failure. Don't fret. You are doing the best you can. You are a good mom. It's ok that he has tantrums, and it's ok to not know what you are doing. We all have our moments. Again, you are not failing at this!



Remember how you made fun of people who purchased the $25 Sophie Giraffe teether?? You thought it was a huge waste of money. Yep. You will buy it too, and Harry will LOVE it. Money well spent.


Poop. Poop. Poop. More poop. Not everyone will find this topic as intriguing as you. Yes, it is interesting to you but not the whole world. Don't forget. Oh, and most people don't like to talk about it while eating... Sorry.


Your child isn't any different than you... He will mess things up, make mistakes, and destroy things. That mystery stain on the carpet will not go away even after several washings and deep cleanings. Your child will also break things, eat strange items (like dryer lint and dog food), and drink toilet water on occasion.. On that note, keep the toilet seat closed at all times. What were you thinking??


Your child is not going to sleep through the night for a very long long time. Kindly nod your head at the unwanted advice, and carry on. You know what is best for him. Besides, you get extra time to cuddle with him. Enjoy it!

Don't even waste your time being paranoid or worried about labor.... Seriously... It's a major waste of time. In fact, your labor will NOT be how you pictured it at all... You will survive though, and you will come out being stronger than ever.

Brace yourself though because you will meet your side kick and best friend... He will be with everyday even when you go to work!! Take thousands of pictures like you normally would, and enjoy your son as much as you can. He is your little hero!





Keep on keeping on!!! You got this! Keep breastfeeding until Harry wants to stop. Don't give on anything. Don't lose hope. Have faith. You are doing a great job. Don't ever forget! Don't forget that you look good too.


Love,
Stephanie with a child

The reality

I don't know why, but it took almost 7.5 years. The reality of situation finally sunk in on my 27th birthday when I realized that this was the 8th birthday I will be spending without my dad. It was then when I finally realized that I will no longer have any new memories with him. Everything I have is just a distance memory that is getting further and further away. It's just a moment in time.. Some of those are so foggy that sometimes I don't even remember them at all. My heart sunk. I will never have a new memory with my dad. Never.. I don't know why, but it never dawned on me until now.

He will never be forgotten, but he will never be in any of my present day memories. Harry will never know who he is, only through my pictures and stories. I will never have any moments of Harry and my dad together.. Ever. I will never have any pictures of them together. It hurts thinking that the last time I saw him, I was 19 years old, a train wreck, drunk, and lost... He remains in my heart and thoughts all day, and I am thankful for the time I had with him. I just wish that a new memory could be made.

Of course, this now sent in a massive state of panic about death. Yes, death. To be quite honest, I am still a bit panicked about it. Death is final. It's the absence of life. Nothing. Of course, it's scary. I don't want a new die, but it's inevitable. So, the conclusion... Live your life to the absolute fullest. Be happy. Make unforgettable memories. Leave a footprint (a non literal one) on Earth for people to remember in years to come. Make the best out of this life..

Don't wait for the right moment... MAKE it happen!!!

RIP- Stephen John Kilyanek 9-14-06

Breast Milk Pudding

I'm at it again... I'm always trying to find uses for my frozen stash of breast milk! Well, I found a recipe for pudding online, and I changed it up a little, and I made my own pudding. Yum! Since breast milk is packed full of nutrients, this version of pudding is a tad healthier.


Source: http://doublethink.us.com/paala/2012/11/01/informational-breastfeeding-posters/

Original recipe:
http://www.ehow.com/how_2067619_make-vanilla-pudding.html

Here is what you need:
3 cups (24oz) of breast milk
4 tsp corn starch
2 eggs
1 cup sugar
1/4 cup applesauce
2 tsp vanilla
4 tsp coconut oil



How to make the pudding:
1. In a medium sized pan, pour in the milk and corn starch and mix together.

2. Then, add the 2 eggs and mix until well blended.

3. Add in the sugar and applesauce, and mix thoroughly.

4. Heat on the stove on medium heat for 10 minutes while stirring occasionally.

5. Once the time is up, add in the coconut oil and vanilla, and mix well.

6. Heat on medium heat for an additional 10 minutes.

7. Cool and enjoy!!




Harry approves!!!

Valentine Crafts

Check out some of the cool things we have been doing for Valentine's Day! These are great crafts for toddlers and kids of all ages!!

The "Love" painting on a canvas. Use their handprint for the "O" and their footprints for the "V"...


A fun and cute Valentine for the special people in their lives:


Here is a Valentine poem that will surely make you cry:


Painting with hearts! First you fold a toilet paper roll into the shape of a heart and tape it to stay in place. Then you dip it in paint and stamp on paper.


Decorating Hearts (Painting):




The "I love you to pieces" heart! Decorate with a bunch of colorful papers.


Another cute poem with handprints!


Valentine sugar cookies!

Poop stinks

Yes.. Poop stinks! Changing diapers can be an event that you wish you could forget, but even the smell becomes embedded in your brain for life!!

Believe me... These are two horrifyingly hilarious that I will never forget!!!

Epic Poop #1: December 28th, 2013
It was Saturday morning, and Harry was taking a bath. Harry was happily playing, so I walked over to the other side of the bathroom to put the clothes into the dryer. (Don't worry.... It was only about 3 feet away, and I could still see him.) Harry was playing in the bath tub when all of a sudden he started screaming and frantically trying to get out of the bath tub. I couldn't figure out why until I looked down in the bath tub to discover that he was surrounded in poop infested water!!!! Horrified, I yelled for Scott to help! Team work!! Between rewashing Harry, rinsing him off, and cleaning the bath tub, we took care of the situation... So gross, but we had a good laugh!!

Epic Poop #2: January 1st, 2014
Happy New Year!!! Well, the new year started off with a bang! Harry had a rough night of not sleeping much, but that's ok. We were playing in the living room in the morning, and I decided to go into the kitchen to get some water. I came back, and the living room smelled awful... I look down. Poop is on the carpet. Poop is on Harry's socks. Poop is on Harry's car. Poop is on his back, legs, and stomach!!!! Poop is EVERYWHERE!!!! Very carefully, I carried him to the bathroom, peeled his clothes off, wiped him down, and gave him a bath. That was one EPIC explosion!!!

Funny Moments in Toddlerhood Part 1

There is never a dull moment when you are a toddler... These stories prove it!!

11-22-13
So... I changed Harry's diaper, and I put him down on the carpet so I could clean up. He crawled away laughing, and then an eerie silence fell upon the house. I looked around and didn't see him. Then I heard a faint splashing sound coming from the bathroom. I go in, and he is dunking his hand in the toilet and licking the water off of his hand!!! (Yes, I did tell him "no" and removed him from the situation, but a picture was needed first! HA HA!)


12-18-13
2am... I hear Harry laughing hysterically followed by an abrupt silence... Then I hear him yell "I did it! I did it! I did it!!" I go in his room to investigate what he did and discovered that he took his socks off and dropped them on the floor!! Since I don't let him take his socks off during the day, he thought he would be sneaky by doing this in the middle of the night. Busted!! At least when he wakes up in the middle of the night, he keeps it interesting!!!

12-22-13
2am... I don't know what Harry "did", but he kept shouting "I did it" repeatedly while laughing! I found no evidence of anything that he could have possibly done. Clueless!

1-9-14
2am... I hear "I don't like it" repeatedly followed by a yell and giggle coming from Harry's room. I'm not sure what he didn't like, but I think it had something to do with his stuffed puppy being on the floor. I, however, didn't like how we were awake a majority of the night!!