One Day...

One day... Oh, how I wish I could pause time before that one day...

One day.. One day Harry will no longer want to cuddle during the night or cuddle with me at all. One day he won't need me the way that he needs me now. One day he won't even want to play with me.. It will be embarrassing, or he will be too cool. I am his world. He needs me, but that won't always be the case...

These days will be long gone before I even have the chance to realize it. Time certainly is not stopping, and these precious moments of pure innocence will soon be a little memory in the back of my mind. Oh, how I wish I could press pause and live in these moments for just a little longer.

So... For now, I cherish these cuddles with Harry because I know that they will end in the blink of an eye. So what if I am tired? It's NOT all about me anymore. I have created this cute little boy who still needs me during the night whether it is for breast milk or cuddles or both. HE NEEDS ME. It won't always be this way, so why wish for him to sleep without my assistance sooner than he is ready?! He is a person with feelings too... I know that I will deeply miss these days when they pass.

I love the look on his face when I go to check on him in the middle of the night.. He is smiling with his hands in the air while saying "Mama, up!" I get a big hug and kiss from him, and we cuddle, he nurses, and sleeps on my shoulder until I put him back down. That right there is worth every single sleepless night!!! I'll sleep through the night one day. One day when I am much older, and he is older. One day... Until then, I get more cuddles and love than I know what to do with.

We don't have much time with our kids before they are off into the world. One day they will be grown up, and their worlds will no longer revolve around us. Our kids won't always be our best friends, they won't always want to play with us, and they won't even want us around one day. One day...

Until that one day, I look forward to playing cars with Harry, having a rock band concert, building towers of blocks, and playing kitchen and being fed pretend lemons. Right here, right now is the best time! Today is the best of times because I am the center of Harry's universe, the light in the dark, his world, and so much more. These moments only come around once and never again. We can't get time back, and I won't be the center of his universe for long. I embrace it. I love it. Never again will I be needed, wanted, and loved in this kind of way...

One day we won't play cars together anymore. He will be driving his first car before I know it. One day he won't willingly want to hug and kiss me all day... I might become that odd embarrassing lady. Ha! I won't always be able to make bad things go away, but I can now! I am that important and that powerful!! I am a super hero. You won't always be THIS powerful and important to your children, so enjoy it before it is too late.

So... I embrace it. This love is more powerful than anything else on this planet. I am needed. I am his protector. I make the pain go away. I scare away the bad things at night. I am the chef when we play kitchen, and I can cook some amazing pretend lemons! I am the drummer in our rock band. I am also the official taste tester of all Harry's food that he so graciously shares with me. And... Let me tell you, slobbery half eaten goldfish crackers are far better than the untouched ones! I provide Harry comfort in my arms. I am his cuddle buddy. This is truly what life is about right here.

It won't always be this way, but I am certainly enjoying the ride. The good. The bad. The ugly. It's all part of it. Until that one day, I am the center of his universe, and I am loving every single second of his innocence before it is gone.